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OBAMAGATE! THE MUSICAL

By Philip Drucker

"What you're seeing and what you're reading is not what's happening." -Donald J. Trump July 25, 2018


In politics, I think it's fair to say if you place the word "gate" on the end of virtually any political controversy it immediately becomes elevated to the status of a potential scandal, the likes of which can in the end bring down a presidency. To a great degree, this is the legacy of Watergate.

During his Committee to Re-Elect the President (CREP accent on the long "E") campaign, Tricky Dick Nixon, way ahead in the polls, decided it was a good idea to send the Plumbers, a gaggle of amateur burglars to burgle the offices of the DNC situated in the Watergate Hotel.

Why Nixon thought sanctioning criminal acts in the pursuit of useless information, if any, is still an unanswered question, unless you consider his normal everyday combination of drinking, probably driving under the influence many times (very popular back then) paranoia, the resulting generally inappropriate behavior and bad judgment a legitimate reason.

Might we conclude, he just couldn't help himself and leave it at that? Throw in a little obsession with your perceived "enemy" meaning anyone and anything that is "against" you, and yes, I believe we have a winner, or wiener as the case may be. "Nixon's Enemies List", aka his "Opponents" list aka his "Enemies of the State" list compiled by lackey Charles Colson and Colson's lackey George T. Bell is proof positive of his desire to document and destroy all he perceived to be wrong with the world. Remember, nobody made Dicky Trick record his conversations in the White House. Posterity. In the end it was all about posterity and the chance to be remembered as anything but a crook.

Posterity in the sense of history one day looking back and no matter the means, the ends were justified and he needed documentation. Evidence that he was right. His greatness would one day be listened to by the victors. Him and his and surely not those radical, left-leaning hippies and do-gooders for society know-it-alls. You know, the nattering nabobs of negativity? As so eloquently labeled by the soon to be former vice-president and future convicted felon Spiro Agnew? The law and order guy who the Nixter tapped to "clean-up" the mess currently underway in the USA as a result of the Vietnam war? The suppression of Free Speech, Free Press, Assembly and drugs? Was it like that? Yes, it was.

The dirty, unwashed, long-haired, pseudo-intellects and their bra-less, big breasted earth cookie mamas, or feminists (it seemed to me for some reason women couldn't be both, but hey, I was like 10 years old. Frankly, I felt lucky to know what breasts were at all. Thank you R. Crumb!) were "Them". The Us? A pure fantasy world of supposed good old American values wrapped in the flag (which we could all now burn) of fake patriotism, nihilism, revisionist history and all tinged with a bit of religious G-d is on our side rhetoric all culminating in a we can do no wrong, even if we are wrong. That doesn't matter for our values are pure (nonsense).

This phenomenon can also be explained as its right because we did it with the possibly sincere belief our actions were for the "good" of the country and therefore, regardless the consequences, no other justification necessary. Did you know the students at Kent State asked for it? No? They did and they, the real Americans who believed whatever was good for GM was good for the country, were more than happy to give it to them.

What could possibly go wrong? They were the Moral Majority and Nixon not only gave them a voice, he gave them what I refer to as the "Narrative." The Narrative. The right to be right, even if you are wrong. Remember that for we will delve further into the mass hysteria created and potential damage done to society in the name of a crusade based upon nothing more than rumors, lies and innuendo with the truth, at best, optional and only if and when useful.

Bending reality to comport and comply with the Narrative is hard work. It requires imagination, but not much investigation. It requires the ability to "read" a significant part of a disgruntled nation. It requires an imaginary list of anybody but us are the sources of all our problems and if they just went away all of our problems would be solved. This is also called racism, sexism, misogyny, homophobia, xenophobia, religious intolerance, faux nationalism and isolation. All part and parcel of what we will now refer to as the Trump Narrative.

Simplicity is the key. You don't need to be smart, or learned or edumacated or nothing of the sort. Those eggheads always over think everything anyways. Weeds I tell you! Always with the weeds and never addressing what counts and what counts is our for the most part ignorant, unsubstantiated in any true meaning of the word belief system of the world. No matter how many times we have to say the Bible is a literal account of and recitation of actual, factual events, burning bushes and parting seas at the stroke of a Shepard's Rod and all and in no way an allegorical collection of instructive stories in the least. Does the circular K Street "Prosperity Doctrine" come to mind? It should.

Let's hit the pause button for a moment. Will bringing prayer back into school improve learning? No. Would placing a depiction of the Ten Commandments in every courthouse assist the application of justice for all? No. If we did abandon separation of church and state, would the heavens open and commence a new era of enlightening and eternal bliss? No.

Will making rich people richer solve our current economic inequality? Or does it merely promote the myth of trickle down anything (gate) as legitimate economic policy? No. but the narrative is out there. Are we rich when the wealthiest of us are rich? Are we as a nation richer as they get richer? No. But the narrative is out there. Can you open and reopen an economy with the snap of a finger, an Easter miracle or two? No.

Will the Covid-19 Virus one day just just go away? No. Are grandma and grandpa expendable? No. Is it safe to go out and party like it's 1999? No. And no amount of belief in any made up story, tale, allegory, narrative will change that. As long as we continue to follow the Trump Narrative mothers will die. Fathers will die. Grandparents will die. Children of all ages, shapes and sizes will die. First responders will die. Doctors, nurses and hospital staff will die. Essential and non-essential workers will die. Employees in meat packing plants will die. Farm workers in the fields will die. For what? Again, for the plenary power of the Trump Narrative and nothing, absolutely nothing more.

As with all really good narratives, the Trump Narrative is by design nothing, more nothing and nothing at all. It needs to be fillable and flexible enough to include any unpleasant or unnecessary intrusions by reality, including facts, that may get in the way. Disagreement, dissent, and deviations are not allowed. "Off message" is no message at all. Change whatever it is you need to so it fits nicely into, well, whatever you want to see, hear and live within at the moment. Red is blue. Blue is green. Green goes well with blue. Unless it doesn't. Your rules, your Narrative, your choice. Get it?

Recently there has been a great deal of talk about a new "gate" with it's own hashtag tailor made for whatever reality plagues the Trump Narrative. #Obamagate.

Suddenly, the AM airwaves, lunatic fringe broadcast (Faux) and cable networks (all others), Facebook pages and twitter feeds of the Trump Narrative Nation are filled with this single, imaginary word, sometimes with a hashtag, sometimes not. #Obamagate. Sounds serious, doesn't it? Sounds like they finally caught our 44th President who just happened to be an extremely loving, kind, caring and competent individual who unfortunately due to nothing more than the color of his skin and therefore does not fit even the most basic tenets of the Trump Narrative, with his hand in the cookie jar/KFC extra-crispy bucket.

But they didn't and whatever it is they say he is doing or did, he didn't. Looking for a crime to fit the gate? Don't bother. There is none. Remember, they don't need one. It will always be enough that Obama was Black While In Office (BWIO) and even worse, he did a damn fine job of it. Unlike our current stupid, fat, ugly inside and out, man of little to No No Nanette moral character disaster of a civil servant at the top who is, BTW trying to kill us all by means of biological warfare.

Nope, not even the whiff of a legitimate scandal or specific act of wrongdoing. Details, details, details. Who needs them? Isn't it so much easier and better if everything they make up is magically true and of equal if not more value than what is open, in plain sight and well, unpleasant to say the least? Alternative facts anyone? Yes? Take two, or as many as you want or need. We'll make more.

Not that they need any, but here is a suggestion for those who prefer to live in a world of their own making, never mind the economic collapse, virus pandemics and climate change existential events right in front of you, why not make #Obamagate a Broadway bound musical extravaganza? #Obamagate! The Musical. Don't forget the exclamation point! What could possibly be wrong with a little jazz, pizazz and fanfare mixed in with their daily dose of raz-matazz, gas lighting, misinformation, flimflam and scam?

Hey! Everybody likes a good musical, right? I'd go see it. Wouldn't you? As an added plus, I hear different ending versions are available upon request. How can you resist? It will always be whatever you want it to be. Just like everything in the Trump Narrative. It'll be anything and everything you need it to be. With music. What could be better? I can't think of anything, but if you need to, I'm sure you will. And of that, I am quite sure.

If you need me, I'll be hiding in the safe quarantine of my own personal weeds. Catch you later? Maybe, maybe not. It's your life, your reality. There is still at least one act left before the final curtain drops. Word on the street, next to the blood, is the dancing and props are fabulous. Four stars.

Namaste. Be that inner spark of life you have always wanted to be.

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