By Philip Drucker
“I love her very much and I will write this in my paintings,” – Pablo Picasso
And so, he did. In at least twelve known paintings, Picasso included the words “Ma Jolie” (My Pretty One) for his lover Marcelle Humbert. If it were a different time, I would very much like to paint such a picture with such an inscription for the ones I love myself. But for now, “Ma Jolie” as the title of today’s writing will have to do.
Today, I feel like I have a lot to say, but am not sure if anyone is “listening.” Not necessarily to me, in the micro, for I say this not in the immediate, one-on-one sense, but in the macro extreme. Extreme not as in above and beyond the norm, but in the sense of "everybody". Is anyone out there listening to if I may count myself as one of, the voices or reason? Again, not necessarily my voice, but there is a universal thread that runs through us all. We know what to do. Right and wrong are not terribly difficult concepts. They only become convoluted when the good of the one, or the few, is mistaken for the good of the many.
This is what makes Trump and company dangerous. Other than immediate self-gratification, in many instances involving the cruel, gratuitous and certainly unnecessary infliction of pain upon those who more often than not have no ability to resist. For example, to say children kept in cages on our southern border have no political power is an understatement of immense proportions.
Who speaks for them? Do I? Do we? In a representative republic are we allowed to believe our elected officials will do what is the good, right, just and honorable? Or, have we been placated by a sham process we call "elections"?
Recently, I have become troubled, more than usual, about the state of the body politic in America. I have been asking myself, how did a malignant, harmful, being of no discernible morality become our President, and get this, through the Electoral College, which was the exact mechanism the Founding Fathers adopted for the almost singular purpose of "checking" the will of the ignorant, intolerant and as is the case today, those who would trade our freedom for their own personal power, wealth and prestige?
I'm not trying to be catty, but in a nutshell, I am amazed and appalled by the sheer number of the voting public who believe it is a severe violation of their "rights" to be inconvenience to the point of wearing a mask during a pandemic. In summary, how can there be so many people who sit by idly while we continued to keep children, innocent and without resources, in captivity while a simple, common sense, let's all pull together and beat this virus by all wearing our masks call to arms elicits cries of anguish, tyranny and totalitarianism, while these very same institutions are forced upon us on those already in power on a daily basis?
What psyche, or perhaps psychosis, allows an otherwise rational, sentient, often intelligent and in many instances loving, human beings to discard the reality of the many, many atrocities currently taking place in broad daylight, right before their eyes, for the promise of a false panacea of lies, rumors, deceptions and distractions and at best innuendo for the TV masses?
Speaking of ratings, don't you find it at a minimum a bit curious, if not completely unnerving, that this is the first administration that has its own commercial breaks with chock with proud displays of product placement for the partisan punters of the Trump political machine? In short, did we really see both the president and his daughter hawking beans? Why yes, we did.
Right about now with all that is not right with the world, you might be asking yourself so why has Goyagate of all things put this Drucker guy into such a tizzy that he feels it necessary to reduce today's latest hissy to a writing? The answer may be somewhat surprising, for yesterday, I found out that my cancer has returned and although my prognosis for recovery is very good, I start chemo treatments next week that will probably continue till the end of the year. More below.
There is something about having cancer that gives the individual a certain clarity of thought and validation of actions thereof. If I had to explain it a bit more directly, when you realize you are dying from the inside out, it gives you a perspective on the difference between inner beauty and chaos. Black and white becomes just so many shades of grey. Decisions? They are a dime-a-dozen but consequences, intended or otherwise, are always real and sometimes, final.
And so, I write of the consequences of living in a material world subject to the inexplicable illusion of time. My advice? You cannot save time. You can only spend it wisely. Or not. You can believe your own eyes, you can stop with the "(fill in the blank) lives matter" as if we can somehow make more lives valuable than others, although I admit is is very sad indeed when persons of one persuasion place the worth and value of their lives at least in part upon the complete discounting and/or delusion daily degradation of those who do not look, think or act like them, as if "they" had cornered the market on superiority through genes, light skin, dark skin, profession and perhaps the worst of all, misplaced piety. Yes, I know this is a run-on sentence, but for today, you deal with it, OK?
For today, I don't want to deal with dead people enshrined in granite and placed upon a pedestal in a square for acts not of bravery but of cowardice and treason in service of what should have been an insufferable evil institution that led to the division of a nation and into a bloody civil war. All so one group of entirely undeserving persons could feel better about their quickly vanishing, pathetic way of life as if it warranted preserving in any way, shape or form.
Today, I don't want to deal with people who think re-opening schools putting millions of children, children mind you, our very future as a society with a distinct culture, at risk of infection, disease and death.
Today, I don't want to deal with people who want a haircut. Who want to go to the beach. Who will go out today, as with every time there is little blip in the universe, buy another gun to make themselves feel better about "protecting" what little they actually have that is worth the effort of protecting. I always say you will know those among us who have nothing as they are always the least reticent to give it up.
Today, I don't want to deal with people who think their God is the only true God. Today, I don't want to deal with those poor souls that think God favors the rich. That think God favors the white. That think God favors those who find themselves in positions of power when in fact, I suspect in most instances, the exact opposite to be true.
Today, what I want to do is schedule my series of upcoming surgeries and treatments and get on with what matters. I want to order my medications so I can sleep at night without the sweat from the back of my neck saturating my pillow. I want to make sure those I love understand that no matter the outcome, in this life and the next, I will always love them.
Cancer is an equal opportunity employer. It takes what it can get and doesn't ask questions. Your colon is like my colon, and now, your liver is like my liver. The potential for disaster is always that and there is NO amount, I repeat, NO amount of yours, or anyone else's for any reason, suffering that will change that reality and at the moment, importantly, my situation.
Right her, right now, that is all I need to know and quite frankly, right about now, if that is not all you need to know, you might want to check your misplaced credentials of all that is good and righteous in the world and start to at least think about capital "R" reality. I'd like to say it is coming, but in fact, it is already here.