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  • Writer's picturePhilip Drucker

Communique 9-27-2020 "Crazy Beef Trump Jerky Brisket & The Blowfish"

By Philip Drucker

Crazy Beef Trump Jerky Brisket & The Blowfish

What makes the Marquis de Trump He Who Would Be Caesar Salad and his cult of loonies on the lemon grass following of distorted lemmings/buffalo chip monks think that We, the People would accept the outcome of an election in which one party didn’t even try to win, because they couldn’t, so they tried to cheat their way to victory? Their goal? To install an unstable, unfit to serve and out of control and getting sicker by the day racist buffoon who after this week of utter nonsense, I am now under the impression gets his “energy” through a needle stuck in his ass. Too bad you can’t get intelligence the same way, eh?

What makes Sir Tenderloin of Breaded Beef with a Deplorable Basket of Lies and Fries on the side and his out to lunch not much meat on the bone headed bologna and salami dingo loser bots of soggy Subway sandwiches think We, the People are going to accept his nominee, a full-on charismatic, speaking in tongues and, what else do these people do? I guess wild sex orgies are out, or are they? Well, let’s not go there for today, but vote to end Obamacare? Vote to strike down Roe v. Wade? Vote to keep an illegitimate president-man-child spawned by some rapist from another dimension that now wants visitation and coronation rights?

What makes Der Hitler Schnitzel Dog of Dubious Mental Status Demented and Deranged and his barmy army of looking more every day like a Branch Davidian, Jonestown, BBQAnon kook-off to see who is the craziest brisket with a musket of them all, think We, the People will accept another four years of our Attorney General, who apparently thinks we are better off, or at least he and his cadre of goons and buffoons are, under an authoritarian regime that’s prime goal in this life is to bring about the end of it?

Since when did it become OK for the AG of the USA to shoot tear gas and rubber bullets at the true American patriots among us who are peacefully exercising their right to Free speech and Assembly? Since when did it become OK for the highest law enforcement officer in the land to invent out of the thinnest of air, smoggy at that, his intention to classify blue states he doesn’t like as “anarchist” cities? Doesn’t Billy realize his threat to withhold Federal funds doesn’t hold the radioactive coal ashes in the water he’s poisoning North and South Carolina with for a California, or a New York? States that contribute more to the federal government in tax dollars than they receive in federal subsidies? Or did he not get that all too random memorandum?

And, as we are speaking about donor and deadbeat, umm, debtor states, Kentucky, Mississippi, and Alabama all come to mind, aka those broke-ass states who wouldn’t enjoy their ancestral and traditional “lifestyle” of mooching off the tax dollars of the very states they now mock as “out of touch”, well, how long do they think this situation is going to last? Let them eat coal for a while and see how they like that.

It’s not as if anyone is buying their dirty black rocks anymore. And that bad habit Trump has of offering artificial life support through our tax dollars to an industry that has no market, no buyers and no profits? That’s called socialism. Making for example, Kentucky, a soviet styled socialist state? Seems like a natural, as Mitch McConnell has apparently been laundering Russian oligarch money through his various PACs for years now. You know the old saying I just made up, when it comes to dark money in politics, there is none darker than that which travels through the cold, icy bank accounts and collapsing varicose veins of Comrade Mitch. How long do they think this revolting but not in a good Bolshevik way situation is going to last before We, the People say Nyet?

How much longer would any sane, sentient and synapses still firing on some level leader, or his followers, believe that the overwhelming majority of Americans are going to put up with the federal non-response to the Covid-19 pandemic? Is it just me, or has anyone noticed there are very few persons, if at all, posting “Does anyone personally know anyone who has gotten or died from the Corona Virus?” I personally know of three who contracted it, and one who died. In a hospital, on a ventilator, due to the Virus.

FTR, I find it particularly galling that Trump’s, usually not very athletic supporters, have the malignant and wholly misplaced nerve to compare the sliced and diced, cooked to election perfection, unless you want to live, numbers coming out of the White House with various individuals and agencies who are interested in the true number of infections and fatalities then triumphantly state, “See, the numbers don’t add up!” As if the dead care. They don’t, but my question is, do you? If so, wise up and please, at least and for the love and well-being of us all, Zip it. For if I am not mistaken, this bit of madness is reaching its expiration date, fast.

It is not that I do not take the following weeks leading up to the election seriously, for indeed they are part of what I hope will shortly become a very dark part of our history, better left behind, but never completely forgotten. But, this is what I suspect will take place, possibly within the first 100 days of the Biden/Harris administration.

For starters, Biden will win the election. Citing an important phone call, he just had to take, Trump will not attend the inauguration and despite his many annoying, obnoxious and useless, protestations Trump, if necessary, come January 20, 2021 will be escorted by the Secret Service. Shortly thereafter, agents will find his porn stash hidden in the oval office along with an autographed 8”X10” glossy of Vladimir Putin, inscribed “From Russia with Love”, a valentine card with lots of pretty hearts (some still beating) from Kim Jung Un and a cassette mix tape of his favorite love jams from MBS.

Once the Oval Office is properly smudged with all lingering demons including Kayleigh McEnany are exorcised for good measure, Biden and Company will, not necessarily in order, devise and implement a national strategy for dealing with the Covid-19 threat. Biden will ignore the naysayers and non-maskers and after a while, the Covid-19 will go away. No miracles, just good sense and a dab of science, necessary.

Washington DC and Puerto Rico will be granted statehood. The Supreme Court will either suffer a sudden rash of “retirements” or impeachment proceedings against at least two, and possible three Trump appointees with begin in earnest. Billy Barr will face criminal indictment for his extreme dereliction of duty and role in what will amount to a failed coup attempt. Treason anyone? Notice I’m not saying no.

Trump and his crime syndicate of family and friends will be rounded up and placed in custody, else they attempt to flee the jurisdiction with Trump threatening in exile to return and run for Governor of Florida, or some other nonsense I would dismiss immediately, except that we are talking about Florida. Of course, DeSantis would have been summarily fed to the crocodiles by now so there is always that to look forward to.

There will be more. Revelations of ignorance, incompetence, fraud, disgust and debauchery will become a near daily event. Everyone will be playing Cabinet Indictment Bingo. The rats will all be scrambling to get the best deals. Some will hold out, but not many. The Pardon Power? Meh. The States and perhaps even the International Community will get their 300 pounds of putrid, orange, foul smelling flesh. Trump tower will go on the auction block as will Mar-a-Lardo. No one is getting out of this one alive.

Except me. I’m going to get my own TV show on MSNBC. Well, maybe not, but next year will be a whole new reality show, this time based on actual reality, with liberty and justice for all. Hey Trump Troll Blood Sausage Clot Bot Snot, did you really think we were going to wait much longer? Come to think about it, yeah, you probably did.

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