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Communique 1-11-2022 "They Came, They Saw, They Stole a Podium (or Was it a Lectern?)"

By Philip Drucker

If you are having difficulty understanding and categorizing the events of January 6, 2021 you are not alone. Until we have more information, it would be a bit foolhardy to try to pin down exactly what happened on the grounds, upon the steps and ultimately, inside the Capitol Building.


Some commentators have already jumped the musket so to speak and labeled the terrible events an attempted coup d’état. It was not. A coup d’état or, “a blow to the state” involves the overthrow, removal and replacement of a sitting government.


I imagine it could be argued by refusing to acknowledge the validity of the Electoral College and honor the peaceful transition of power, Trump was staging a “pre-emptive coup” to retain power beyond his soon to expire term. It might also be a so-called “self-coup” where a sitting president or authority figure dissolves another branch of government, often the legislature, to retain power.


However, these characterizations seem ill-fitting as it is still unclear what exactly Trump and his Cult45 lemming losers were trying to achieve. If we assume most of them had at least a clue, they didn’t, but somebody did and due to the plotting and planning previously reported, this was not an accident.


The very suggestion that let’s call it the actions of an angry out of control mob for the moment was an unfortunate extension of what began as a legitimate protest under the First Amendment is insulting to the intelligence. No, somebody thought about it, but as with all things Trump, nobody thought it through. So, what did we end up with?


Well, here is my take. What began as a social media arranged tailgate party on the outskirts of the Capitol grounds quickly devolved into what I believe most historians would agree was a siege, albeit a short one, followed by the breach and capture of a fallen city that at least to your average Visigoth, Vandal, Mongol, and yes, Crusader, was now nothing more than a helpless shell of an oyster ready to be relieved of its pearls, gold, silver and whatever looked to have some value to supplement the measly government military salaries they received.


Not unlike the barbarians of old, they arrived en masse, some on horseback, well, maybe not, but at least in buses to encamp outside the doors of their intended target. It would be night soon and come the morning, they would be ready for destiny. Somewhat patiently, they waited for a sign, hopefully a celestial one, but any sign would do. A call to arms, to combat, “we’re coming to get you”, a fist pump, a poster of Mel Gibson as Braveheart, anything that indicated it was go time.


Once received, it was time to approach the perimeter. To move forward, ever forward on hallowed wings of glory or something like that lest they be stopped by the unbelievers before the moat, drawbridge or city walls. Alas with nothing but polite please don’t let me stop you on your way to the castle free passes from those who should have stood firm, and before they even knew it, it was time to quite literally scale the walls of the Capitol building itself. Pity they forgot to bring the cow catapult, eh?


Caught “unaware” the palace did not replenish the holy and very hot oil often used to deter such interlopers. Like ants on a picnic basket they climbed. Some made it to the top. Some did not. One tazed his own balls to his death. Oh, the lack of humanity from Sean Hannity!


Once inside the fortress, it was time. Time for what you might ask? Well, for the most part nobody knew so the space cadet invaders turned to what every good block head throughout time has done. The wrong thing. In this instance, the classic, looting, pillaging and causing all around general violent chaos that is all but certain to bring about the loss of life.


Five lives were lost at the scene. For the record, that is one more than Benghazi. Another person tied to the events committed since suicide. With the sanctity of life in the rear-view mirror, the murderous MAGAts looked to find a prince, or perhaps a princess would do, to hang. Seeing as royalty is somewhat rare in America, they chose VP Mike and Speaker Nancy as their intended victims. The Gallows were up and ready to go, the had the ninja looking zip tie guy on the prowl, all they needed was a break.


Fortunately, they didn’t get one and contrary to what I am sure is part of a warped QAnon prophecy, they failed. Then, as with all movements that have no idea who or what they are fighting for, they left. In short, “They came, they saw, they stole a podium, or a lectern. I call it the Sacking of the Capitol. And yes, before, during and after, Trump twittered while Washington, DC burned.


Will there be repercussions? You bet. The FBI will break out the bloodhounds and start tracking down and arresting the low hanging rotten fruit who left their viral DNA on the Internet. It won’t be hard. Remember, we are dealing with Mouseketeers who believe they are Musketeers. They are proud of what they have done and given the chance would do it again.


This is the curse of a mind so deluded by lies that truth becomes the enemy of the people. There is only the truth you make. The truth that fits into a manufactured reality that is not based in any recognizable reality. In many ways, it is an extension of the sexual revolution. If it “feels good do it!” Remember that rallying cry from a bunch of randy hippies? Except this time there is no sex so it sucks, or not, so to speak.


Lots of lies, no sex and a bunch of video tape. Is this truly what possibly up to a third of our nation wakes up to and plans their day accordingly? A world where every problem caused by the First Amendment can be easily rectified by the Second Amendment?


The Second Amendment Final Solution having now led to a violent insurrection upon our sovereignty including the loss of life in a misguided attempt to equate liberty with the right to harm others to pursue one’s own happiness?


Is that how they think it works? That is not the American dream. It is an American nightmare where up to half of We, the People don’t even know they are asleep. Bedtime for Bonzo? One can only hope.


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