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Writer's picturePhilip Drucker

Back On The Sauce

By Philip Drucker

In an unlucky, but not totally to be unexpected twist of fortune, I have been diagnosed with what is called secondary colon cancer, meaning a small bit of my previously treated colon cancer managed to fly below the PET scan/radar to hide itself undetected in my liver. As a result, I have gone back on chemotherapy for an estimated 14 weeks of treatment. I will be getting a new “cocktail”, “sauce” or “mix” (it’s got to be happy hour somewhere) that will be administered once a week by infusion. You might be wondering what color wine goes best with chemo? The answer unfortunately neither, alcohol is strictly verboten. I will also get a take-away fanny-pack filled with a 24 hour fix of slow drip chemo heading out on a search and destroy mission for what ails me. My initial prognosis is good. But as with all such thing cancer, day to day is the way, OK?

As with last time, I asked if my steroid treatments would give me Popeye muscles, that was a no. I also asked for radiation treatments that would potentially give me super Spidey powers or, seeing as I have my new medi-port put back in my chest and I am therefore technically a “mechanically enhanced” human or cyborg, could I at least get a really-cool red eye beam implant that could see through stuff like walls. The answer to the above was none of those “additional” services are covered by my insurance. I did get a warm blanket, apple juice and an extra package of graham crackers.

After going on line to check if I need to upgrade my insurance to superhero level (very expensive), I’ve decided to go with the program as is and get back to a point of wellness where life functions are back on line. The biggest obstacles will most likely be fatigue, lack of mental clarity (chemo brain), nausea, vomiting and the ever-popular diarrhea, and constipation if you overdo the Imodium. Dry mouth, ringing in the ears, night sweats, insomnia are all possibilities including addition bleeding from just about any place you can imagine. That’s enough demons for one trip, don’t you think?

This time, I know the drill and if I may impart it to you, should the need (heaven forbid) ever be present it’s goes like this: 1. Trust your doctors (so choose well!) and do what they tell you to 2. Believe in the treatments as they will help you just as they have helped others similarly situated. 3. Stay as positive as possible and be the best patient you can possibly be. This is first and foremost, if not your only, new “job”. Anything less will be at best a setback and you don’t want that.

With that said, I think it is fair to say you will be able to do most of the life activities you are used to performing, only a bit slower, and maybe not exactly at the time you may wish to. It’s a waiting game. Have patience, a lot of patience. Note: don’t beat up yourself for your cancer. It could be any number of factors, including genetics that you have no control over. It is what it is don’t make anything more of a spiritual, moral or failure of care than it was, which is none.

Not surprisingly, I attribute part of my ordeal to my Lord’s will. He never gives you anything you can’t handle. I have learned over the years you never know how strong you are until you must be. I like to think of us all as cactus. Spiky on the outside, but soft, squishy and ultimately life giving (water) on the inside.

I would mention I gratefully and graciously accept all prayers, good thoughts and healing light you wish to send my way. I am an equal opportunity spiritual employer which co-incidentally is not even offered, much less covered by my insurance plan. Who do I have to write a letter too? Dear Sirs, blah, blah 21st Century, preventative medicine, eastern methodologies, in short time to get away, far, far away as possible from these ridiculous employers’ religious objections as a basis for denying their employees the right to comprehensive birth control. Enough of that already.

While I’m thinking about it, enough with for profit insurance. We need comprehensive, affordable health care for all. Medicare for all would be great. Did you know in Europe they evaluate their patients from their medical history? There are no such things as preexisting conditions. If you are sick, you are covered. Every industrial nation in the world except the USA has full comprehensive coverage for its citizens. Anything less as here is a travesty. A complete and utter power play to put donor dollars in the pockets of undeserving politicians. Same with Big Pharma. Same with the Industrial Military complex and their wars that never ends (Afghanistan).

Make no mistake. We are in terrible times when it comes to the faithfulness of our elected officials in carrying out their oath to the Constitution. Not the President, not to their bank accounts, and certainly not to money laundering for Putin and the rest of the Russian oligarchs that no less than Mitch McConnell “built” a fake aluminum plant in Kentuckistan that was nothing more than a money laundering scheme for Russian mob money, with Moscow Mitch and probably his handler and wife Elaine Purina Cat Chow, Chow Chow Chow getting their cut of blood money off the top. I’m positive you can’t graft the one without the other feeling left out and unloved. Wouldn’t want that now, would we? America’s sweethearts indeed.

Please know this. If I am here, or I am not, there is so much work left to be done. Once Biden wins the election, the Dems take back the Senate, with or without Mitch, and we retain or even expand our majority in the House, that will be when we cash in our golden ticket and lead the USA into the 21st Century.

There will be big changes. With the brain-dead and conceptually devoid of any idea that didn’t come straight out of let’s say pre-civil war ideology, we can get on with what we know needs to be done. Tackle the Covid-19 Virus, this time using science and not waiting for a miracle that will never come. Protect everyday people’s homes and property by infusions of dollars, rent and mortgage moratoriums, put in safe and sane procedures for children to get back to schools. For parents to get back to work. Stop the madness of those who believe wearing a mask is a sign of political association, unless you want to be part of the newly minted just for you, get over yourself you a**hole party.

Time to quell any talk of a race war, or civil war in our near future. Who in hell calls a call to arms of any type the “boogaloo”? Automatic weapons in the hands of those intellectually and emotionally arrested at roughly the age of fourteen doesn’t sound like a winning strategy going forward. While we’re at it, it is time for sensible gun control. Now. Not later. Now.

We need to find alternate ways to compete in today’s fast, high tech, information driven world where to be blunt, manufacturing is not likely to return, at least not to America. We need to offer products and solutions that will make life better for everyone. Green technologies, carbon neutrality, and the removal of all unnecessary green (I call them greed) house gas emissions from our air. We must remove all the Executive Orders made by our current president that allow businesses to profit by spoiling our standing water, ground water, and waterways. Day one Mr. Biden.

We must take Marijuana off the federal controlled substance act. The people have spoken and it is far too late to go back. We must continue to fight for indigenous rights. We must fight for economic equality. We must fight for social justice. Black Lives Matter got it? It’s not racist to point out you would like to live rather than be murdered by the very persons who have taken an oath to protect and to serve everyone.

It is time in American to admit we are all one and that the deprivation of a single person of their God given natural rights as protected by our Constitution is the infringement upon the rights of us all. We can no longer tolerate division based on nothing more than those most peripheral of all baseless excuses for racism. Skin color, race, nationality, gender, sexual preference. These factors tell you NOTHING about the person inside. The person who is trying to succeed, trying to do good despite the inhuman and completely unnecessary obstacles put in their way.

Rand Paul, don’t you think it is time we have a federal law making lynching illegal? Senator, are you suggesting that given the right circumstances a mob hanging a human being from a tree by the neck or dragging a chained body behind a truck is a legitimate form of justice? Are you kidding? Just what twisted master do you serve?

We need to re-balance the Supreme Court and root out the illegitimate and incompetent judges and justices who Mitch thinks he is so clever by installing. Too bad we have a little thing called judicial impeachment, and you guessed it, the standard for removal includes acts of immorality, and incompetence. Won’t be long now eh?

And so, with all of that, and so much more corruption to identify and replace, including prison time, forfeitures of ill-gotten property, like Trump Tower, how can I even consider not sticking around for at least the next few years until, as I suspect we do finally get our first woman president in office, thereby finally doing away with the religious based men’s only club at the levers of power. Sound exciting to you? Does to me. F*ck cancer, I’m in. How about you?

Anyone for a Re-Phil?

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