New Communique 9-28-2020 "I've Got The Fake News Twitter Right Wing Butter Nut Squash Blues"
By Philip Drucker
Don’t you just love it when the Resister’s rumor mill goes into full blown hyperbole drive? Don’t get me wrong, I’m never one to discourage anyone for any reason placing the Trump Crime Syndicate & Friends into the most negative of black lights matter conspiracy theories. The funny part being when it comes to Mr. Adderall Up His Nose and soon to be on your lasagna, even the most wildest of speculation based upon the thinnest shred of truth often comes up quite short of the actual are you serious? reality.
For instance, did you know Jared “The Non-Don Level But Still Fairly Greasy In His Own Shiny, Smarmy and Unique Way” Kushner is in negotiations with his good friend Benny “The El-Al Jet” Netanyahu to take it on the lamb shank and bolt to Israel where, I imagine he would become a permanent resident of Trump Heights. You know, the planned Israeli settlement in the Golan Heights? Why, as we speak, he’s probably only a pouch or two of 50 silver pieces, give or take, away from his dream house in the desert.
Where did this bit of scuttle Bevis and Butthead originate? With the disclosure that Both Jarhead and Ivanka have dual American-Israeli citizenship (not bad) and Kush “bleached” meaning wiped clean his Twitter account of all previous tweets. Probably irrelevant, but you see how easy it is to get the Twitter-tittle-tattle hearsay word on the street (tweet?) traveling road show of assorted, some cream filled others, loaded with nuts “by all accounts” conspiracy train fired up and going. I must admit, this one is on the tasty side.
The next seemingly impossible allegation I heard was there is still at least one idiot on the Internet who believes Trump is giving his presidential salary away to charity, like it matters, while he continues to run up an enormous tab golfing on the government, meaning it’s our tax dollars, dime. Then, I found out Eric Trump did in fact tweet something to that effect and as is his typical never knowing when to stop fashion, continued to pontificate in his own somewhat less than self-aware way, did Biden ever donate his salary? So, this one is true. We have verifiable proof there is at least one brain dead and unaware idiot left on the Internet.
This one isn’t exactly a rumor, and I can verify that no less of a mental giant and source of reliable information than Gym Jordan was crowing, you know his routine, “they said it would be there and it’s not and now I own you and don’t let me catch you in the shower because we all know what that means” way about the lack of direct evidence regarding Russian investments in Trump’s taxes.
Never mind the massive chronic losses, tax avoidance, outright fraud and evidence of what a potential national security threat Trump is and will continue to be. Never mind the fact that both Don Jr. and Eric (he’s been a bit frisky lately) have gone on record, more like bragging, about the Trump Organization receiving plenty of ruby red rubles from Russian (Putin) sources. Did it even occur to Gym, not Don Bon Soviet Anchovy mind you, but the Russians themselves might be smart enough not to put direct evidence of funds to be money laundered on a tax form? Funny how we expect so little and yet the Trump Cult 45ers never fail to fall to new lows of morality, lack of congeniality and stupidity.
Meanwhile one clearly overwhelmed and delusional genius with a Twitter account tweeted out the following last night.
“How long do you think it will take for Trump in one way or another to tell the American public we are just too darn stupid to understand his ‘complex’ super businessman tax returns? I’m thinking 48 hours max. You?”
It was me. In my defense, the “he’s a genius and you don’t understand how the rich make money and stay rich” defense took all of minutes, much less hours to go to Faux Noose, and into the general population for anyone who still needs a reason to believe Trump is anything but the deranged drug addled business charlatan and now verified tax cheat we always knew he was, just worse than we ever imagined possible. Jesus would have paid his fair share of taxes. You don’t think I’m delusional, do you?
All of this within hours of the Trump Tax Scandal and a few seemingly random “FAKE NEWS” tweets coming from Trump, or at least his account, breaking wide open and into the online cyber fray. Did I tell you how much I love my Twitter family? They are just the most interesting, intelligent and caring bunch of people I have never met. If you want to get in on the fun and action, please feel free to join the conversation @DruckerPhilip