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Communique 8-24-2020 Return of the Know-Nothings (X10)

By Philip Drucker

Today I am reminded of one of the stupidest of never ending jerk circles that has and I imagine will continue to plague our nation. Riddle me this: Why is it when a significant percentage of the American public are scared, not necessarily without reason, think 9-11, the first thing they do in response is give up as many of their personal rights as seemingly possible to the government? For example, the Patriot Act of 2001 (Act) was no less than 342 pages long and changed at least fifteen laws already in existence.

Further, and if you are asking me, the Act also contained at least as many provisions I wouldn’t hesitate to call unpatriotic, intrusive and down -right oppressive. I mean, if one of your far-distant relatives, perhaps you had not seen them in years, happened to go to the same high school as a suspected (much less known) terrorist, and get this, they were both part of the debate team, should you reasonably expect the FBI to show up at your doorstep? At perhaps even the most inconvenient of times? The answer is/was probably yes. And indeed, that is, in a way quite worrisome. But then…

Why go out and almost if not immediately buy a gun? Or two guns or three? Now that you supposedly have Big Brother working on your side against all enemies foreign and domestic, exactly who or what is the firearm for? Is it for more protection from evil-doers of all stripes and sizes? You might get the drop on one of them, but I doubt. Statistics tell us the average gun owner is more likely to shoot themselves or a family member than they are to bust a cap in a jihadist’s ass.

If we continue to follow this thread of fear and reasoning, sort of, there is only one entity left to protect one’s self and family (short of not having a gun at all) from. That would be the government. You know, the very people you just gave a whole mamasita lode of your personal rights away to? And now you are afraid “they” will use these new found anti-terrorist measures against, you? So, you need a firearm? Or two, or three? For what? I’ll wait. Yeah, thought so. The wheels on the conspiracy bus just keep going ‘round and ‘round, don’t they, cupcake?

The unfortunate net effect of this, our most recent such phenomena is a rather large and alarming armed population of conspiracy theorists, including some who are invariably not all “with it” as in do we really want to give permits to those who think the CIA is torturing them by broadcasting The Voice of America into their molars?

Don’t laugh. I once had the pleasure of conversing with what at least at first seemed to be a somewhat knowledgeable fellow political enthusiast, only to discover by the end of the slowly deteriorating into madness semi-diatribe, my no longer in consideration for friend had given me a blow by blow of how his dentist tortured him and then put in…well you know the rest of the story.

I must give him some credit. He had his spiel(burg) down al righty. To inflict as much pain as possible, his “dentist” did not use an anesthetic. He filled the hypodermic needle with ordinary tap water. He showed me his tooth. I carefully mentioned it looked to me like he had a cavity filled. He gave me the old “how dumb could I possibly be look” look.

For those of you who have yet to experience your first real live, up close and personal possibly ex-CIA agent (at least in his mind) being chased by any number of government agencies, this is the part where it gets tricky, so if I may ask you to lend me your attention for a moment here, if you would be so kind. For this is where the inevitable, and I mean inevitable as in 99.99% sure it’s going to happen, part where they start to wonder, and who exactly, are you? Rest assured it’s all downhill from there and yes, Virginia, it will not end well.

This is when I ever so slowly start to back the H-E double LL hockey sticks out of there. Now with an even greater sense of urgency for there was a time when it was a good bet he (or she) was not packing heat. Today, I’m not so sure and I’m willing to bet you wouldn’t feel secure either.

Why do I mention all of this? I thought it was obvious seeing as today is the first day of the Republican National Convention (RNC). If one conspiracy theorist is a nut, and if two of them are merely there to keep each other company, what do you call a whole political party that has willingly given itself over to madman imbued with magic celestial powers and who’s answer to everything is a never-ending circle of fear, loss of personal rights, a little religion persecution for those who have a taste for it and yes, will supply all the guns (and I do mean all) your little warped, probably racist heart desires? I call it a gall danged, deranged and dangerous Cult 45, or, the GOP. Your choice.

Here’s the funny part. All of this coming to us for four whole days and nights of the finest cable reality president television can offer. All live from a convention center, hotel, motel, Trump holiday inn, or the White House rose garden which incidentally due to the reckless at best antics of our porniest by far first lady, no longer contains any actual roses.

Did I ever tell you about the time a rather strange and odd looking woman came up right behind me at the ATM demanding I give her $500 to escape from “You know, “I don’t want to say”, “them”, the government?” Yeah, that happened. But that is another American horror story for another time. For now, enjoy the show. It’s just getting started.

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